Negotiation frameworks provide structured approaches to deal-making and integrating empathy into these frameworks can significantly enhance their effectiveness. This article, co-written by ENS Strategist Tony Monaghan, explores how empathy brings to life the negotiation methodologies used by ENS.
The Role of Empathy in Negotiations
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of yourself and of others. For a long time, allowing emotions to be visible has been considered a sign of weakness. Think poker players and dark sunglasses, who try to conceal their excitement if they have good cards. And think, stony-faced executives who are “just getting down to business” – impersonal, cold and robotic.
Empathy adds humanity and authenticity to the human interactions. Companies don’t negotiate with other companies, techniques don’t negotiate with other techniques, people negotiate with people. Ignoring emotions and seeing others as “one-dimensional thinking types”, excludes a major part of the negotiating relationship.
So, instead of emotions being a sign of weakness, they can be a source of information and a path to connection. Emotions help us become self-aware, and intuitively aware of the changing moods of others. They help us weigh the decisions whether to disclose information or not.
Empathy takes the time to understand who your other party is. It helps negotiators to build trust by establishing a rapport and showing genuine interest in their concerns. Empathy can be the solution negotiation frameworks need, for a more effective approach to understanding the other party and ourselves, when we feel under pressure.
Practical Integration of Empathy into Negotiation Frameworks
Diagnose Needs
Understanding both your own needs and the needs of the other party is the foundation of any successful negotiation. This involves not just the obvious organisational needs, but also the hidden personal needs that can be just as influential. Empathy helps negotiators get to the heart of these personal needs, providing deeper insights into what drives the other party.
Techniques:
- Fact and Feeling Loops: as a listening technique, reflect back, both the idea on the table, and also the emotion of yourself or your other party that goes with it – for example:
- So, you agree to the price, but the terms are frustrating you?
- Not only are you saying no, but also that our approach seems to have upset you? How so?
- We seem to have a deal, but I have a bad gut-feeling about how the politics will play out?
Listening and disclosing like this, engages the person, not just the transaction.
- Prepare: when you research who your other party is, you might detail their work history, qualifications, interests, where they live, who they know, and so on. Look for common ground and make a point of bringing that up somehow, especially early on. People who are similar to each other, like each other’. Positive emotions can make the difficult content easier to manage.
Choose Style
Empathy is powerful in selecting the appropriate negotiation style. Understanding the emotional state of the other party can guide you in choosing a competitive or cooperative approach.
In most cases, try for rapport – you can’t influence anyone without it. Also remember that rapport is a double-edged sword – people at war are in rapport. Like any tool, choose rapport at the right time.
Techniques:
- Style Adaptation: Be flexible in your negotiation style, shifting between competitive and cooperative as needed based on empathetic insights.
- Break rapport with a sudden shift: If progress is not happening the way you want, then change something – anger or a big smile over a trifle, or calm with a break.
Control Climate
You can set up a particular emotional and physical environment before your other party arrives. Climate makes style visible before anyone has spoken. An empathetic approach helps in setting a tone they might appreciate (not always desired), which can build relationship and facilitate open communication.
Techniques:
- Setting the Scene: Choose a venue and the timing. If you want cooperation, consider comfortable chairs, mixed seating, and catering. If you want competition, perhaps hard chairs, opposite seating, cold temperature and bright or dim lights.
- Emotional Regulation: Use empathy to monitor and regulate the emotional climate throughout the negotiation. Keep asking yourself – what emotions are visible – in me, in them? Watch for mirroring, reciprocation, agreeableness.
Identify and Use Tactics
In the bargaining phase, empathy can be a powerful tool in identifying the tactics that will resonate most effectively with the other party. This involves anticipating their reactions and crafting your approach to align with their emotional and practical needs.
Techniques:
- Trade concessions: Opportunities ‘to give and to get’ are when emotions can be hardest to conceal. Not all concessions are about exchanging value – they can be a tactic for testing the waters – what will the other party rise for, or take in interest in exploring further?
- Manage deadlocks: These can be uncomfortable. The easiest way to break a deadlock is to give away money. If done early on, it’s almost the definition of poor practice. Manage deadlocks by creating movement – changing your emotional state can give that appearance, and it costs you nothing.
Manage Phases
Navigating through the different phases of negotiation with empathy ensures that each stage is handled effectively. The quality of the next phase (introduction, differentiation, integration and settlement) depends on the completion of each previous phase. If the opening is poor, then trust will be low when sharing information and needs. If differentiation is poor, then concession-trading cannot be valued accurately. If integration is poor, then settlement will be a minefield of “he said-she said”.
Techniques:
- Phase Transition: Explicitly ask “Are we ready to move on?” “What else do we need to cover?” “Are all our needs on the table?” “We’ve agreed to x, and you’ve agreed to y”. Summarise the agreement to initiate settlement.
- Follow-Up: After the negotiation, follow up to ensure that the agreement is meeting both parties’ needs and addressing any ongoing concerns.
Conclusion
Integrating empathy into negotiation frameworks is a fundamental part of building strong and robust negotiating partnerships. By diagnosing needs, choosing the appropriate style, controlling the climate, identifying and using tactics, and managing phases with empathy, negotiators can manage the roller-coaster that negotiations can be.
The ENS methodology ensures that negotiators are well-prepared, adaptable, and strategic in their approach. For more detailed guidance and tools, ENS offers a variety of resources and training programs available through our Digital Knowledge Hub and professional negotiation workshops.
To discuss this article in more depth or to explore developing your negotiation capabilities further please contact us on +612 9299 9688
