In negotiations, it’s critical to try and discover the hidden agendas that are motivating the other side. This means looking more closely at what they are not saying because this can give us insight into what’s really driving them.
In this article we share our tips on how to watch and listen more effectively during negotiations so you can uncover the hidden meanings behind what’s being said.
Tips on understanding what is not being said
In your own negotiations, at work and at home, how keenly are you watching and listening to detect and take into account the real (and often hidden) meanings behind what is being said?
- Closely observe body language, including facial expression, eye contact, gestures and body shifts. Keep a lookout for changes in a person’s usual patterns.
- Use a disciplined questioning technique and do not interrupt the other party as they answer. Staying silent is often enlightening.
- Listen carefully to ensure you take in all that is being said by the other party. This includes ‘what’ they are saying and ‘how’ they are saying it. It includes their tonal shifts, pauses, coughs, and the ‘ums’ and ‘ahs’.
- Monitor team members for incongruent signals. As you watch and listen, ask yourself:
- What is it that they really want but are not saying?
- Why do they want that? (You’ll need to think deeper here.)
- What is the payback for them? (Think deeper still!)
How ENS can help
ENS consultants work hard with clients to discover the key hidden agendas motivating the other side. This is because what is not being said often contains the real drivers for decision-making. Understanding these provides the key to designing an effective negotiation strategy.
Want to know more?
To discuss this article in more depth and explore how you can develop your negotiation capabilities, contact us on the form below.
